The crab held Kintaur in his pincer. "Ah, Kintaur," said the crab. "You may want to start thinking about your stage exit because it's curtains for you! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
Kintaur struggled with all of his might. "Must. Break. Free. Claws. Too. Strong."
"Hee! Hee! Hee! You'll never be able to break free, Kintaur Rosenbaum!"
The crab moved Kintaur closer to his dripping jaw. Kintaur struggled some more to break free but it was no use. He closed his eyes as he saw the clamping teeth growing larger in his vision.
Suddenly there was a jerk and the blackness of his closed eyes ignited a fiery red. Kintaur opened his eyes to see the crab rolling backwards towards the glowing orb below.
"Iron asteroids!" Kintaur shouted within the confines of his space helmet.
Just then a silver streak appeared in his peripheral vision. Suddenly Kintaur's helmet speaker chirped into life. "You never did have a taste for seafood," said the sultry voice on the communicator.
"I recognize that voice," Kintaur said. "And that ship, the Accretion Disc could only belong to one lady of the stars."
Kintaur looked back toward his ship, the Magnetar which was slowly tumbling away as he spun away from the crab and its severed claw. "Elmira Gascloud!"
A long scoop extended from the airlock of the Accretion Disc and gently delivered Kintaur back to his ship. "Alright, Rosebaum," came Elmira's voice over the helmet speakers in Kintaur's helmet. "Requesting permission to board the Magnetar."
As the airlock closed around Kintaur, he removed his helmet and keyed up the videolink to the cockpit. "Awaiting your command," Stormbot said.
"Grant her permission," Kintaur responded, rubbing a hand across his stubbly chin.
"As you wish." The videolink dissolved to black with a single leaving a single horizontal white line which slowly faded into the center of the screen.
"Elmira Gascloud," he said again, still admiring the rugged stubble on his own chin. "This ought to be interesting."
Who is this Elmira Gascloud? Does she know Kintaur Rosenbaum from before? How did she know about Kintaur's preference for seafood? Find the answers to these and many more questions in the next exciting installment of Space Phalanx: The Humman-Zzintar Wars!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Space Crab!
Kintaur Rosenbaum had to act fast. The giant space crab had his ship, The Magnetar in its galactic pincers!
"Stormbot," Kintaur said, leaping up from the cockpit seat. "Activate the airlock sequence, and prepare my spacesuit!"
"Sir?"
"That's right. I'm going to meet this crab head on."
After a few minutes Kintaur was buckling up the final straps on his space boot. He then raised his zap pistol to his helmet visor. "Alright. Open the hatch." He cocked his zap pistol. "It's time to fry some crab!"
Kintaur hooked up his safety line to airlock exterior then used his magna-gloves and magna-boots to climb across the exterior of the ship. He slowly took aim with his pistol until he had one of the crab's giant bulbous eyes in his sights. "In your eye, crabby!" He growled as he began to squeeze the trigger.
Suddenly one of the crab's pincers gripped Kintaur around the waist and he lost his grip on his zap pistol. The space crab lifted Kintaur towards its needle-like teeth. As Kintaur struggled to break free from the crab's grip he caught the distant reflective glint of light from his zap pistol as it hurtled into the vastness of space.
Will the crab win or will Kintaur win? Find out in the next exciting installment of: Space Phalanx: The Human-Zzintar Wars!
"Stormbot," Kintaur said, leaping up from the cockpit seat. "Activate the airlock sequence, and prepare my spacesuit!"
"Sir?"
"That's right. I'm going to meet this crab head on."
After a few minutes Kintaur was buckling up the final straps on his space boot. He then raised his zap pistol to his helmet visor. "Alright. Open the hatch." He cocked his zap pistol. "It's time to fry some crab!"
Kintaur hooked up his safety line to airlock exterior then used his magna-gloves and magna-boots to climb across the exterior of the ship. He slowly took aim with his pistol until he had one of the crab's giant bulbous eyes in his sights. "In your eye, crabby!" He growled as he began to squeeze the trigger.
Suddenly one of the crab's pincers gripped Kintaur around the waist and he lost his grip on his zap pistol. The space crab lifted Kintaur towards its needle-like teeth. As Kintaur struggled to break free from the crab's grip he caught the distant reflective glint of light from his zap pistol as it hurtled into the vastness of space.
Will the crab win or will Kintaur win? Find out in the next exciting installment of: Space Phalanx: The Human-Zzintar Wars!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Calcitron's Revenge
The water drizzled out of the faucet and Kintaur Rosenbaum cupped his hands together, collecting some water and splashing his face. He looked up into the lavatory mirror at his stubbled, yet ruggedly handsome face.
"Kintaur Rosenbaum machine," he said to himself. "Zero defects."
Exiting the lavatory he was greeted by Stormbot, his faithful (yet robotic) sidekick. "Lord Calcitron beckons you on the milli-wave transmitter," Stormbot said.
Kintaur grinned roguishly. "I wonder what he wants," he jested.
A moment later Kintaur was sinking into the padded seat in his cockpit. "Lord Calcitron," he said in greeting to the evil insect face on his communication screen. "What an honor."
"Cut the smooth talk, Kintaur," Lord Calcitron hissed. "I know about what you did to my men. You are going to pay me back for their ships and their lives."
"Ha! You'll have to catch me first, Lord Calcitron! And it doesn't look like your men are very good at that."
A devilish look came over Lord Calcitron's face. "Well, we'll just see about that. Lord Calcitron out."
Kintaur leaned forward in his seat. "That's odd," he said.
"Look!" Shouted Stormbot from his mouth speakers.
Ahead of them through the viewport appeared an orange and white six-legged monstrosity which seemed to be snapping and clicking in the vastness of the space beyond their cockpit.
"Space crab!" They shouted together in perfect unison.
Will Kintaur and Stormbot escape the giant space crab? Will they foil Lord Calcitron's evil plot. Will Stormbot explain the origin of his mouth speakers? Find out in the next exciting installment of Space Phalanx: The Human-Zzintar Wars!
"Kintaur Rosenbaum machine," he said to himself. "Zero defects."
Exiting the lavatory he was greeted by Stormbot, his faithful (yet robotic) sidekick. "Lord Calcitron beckons you on the milli-wave transmitter," Stormbot said.
Kintaur grinned roguishly. "I wonder what he wants," he jested.
A moment later Kintaur was sinking into the padded seat in his cockpit. "Lord Calcitron," he said in greeting to the evil insect face on his communication screen. "What an honor."
"Cut the smooth talk, Kintaur," Lord Calcitron hissed. "I know about what you did to my men. You are going to pay me back for their ships and their lives."
"Ha! You'll have to catch me first, Lord Calcitron! And it doesn't look like your men are very good at that."
A devilish look came over Lord Calcitron's face. "Well, we'll just see about that. Lord Calcitron out."
Kintaur leaned forward in his seat. "That's odd," he said.
"Look!" Shouted Stormbot from his mouth speakers.
Ahead of them through the viewport appeared an orange and white six-legged monstrosity which seemed to be snapping and clicking in the vastness of the space beyond their cockpit.
"Space crab!" They shouted together in perfect unison.
Will Kintaur and Stormbot escape the giant space crab? Will they foil Lord Calcitron's evil plot. Will Stormbot explain the origin of his mouth speakers? Find out in the next exciting installment of Space Phalanx: The Human-Zzintar Wars!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Fighting Some Insectazoids
Kintaur Rosenbaum keyed in the coordinates on his navi-computer and pulled a lever which pivoted below a flashing red light on the ship's control panel. "Well, Stormbot, this is going to be a tight one."
Stormbot flashed his eye-sensors in agreement. "These insectazoids need to buzz off," he delivered in his robotic monotone.
Kintaur's ship, The Magnetar blasted ahead, six or seven smaller ships matching speed and lighting the space behind them with their thrusters.
"Alright, Stormbot. Time to squash some bugs!"
The Magnetar arced upward, twisting as it did so, and dropped a dozen space mines behind it into the narrowing gap to the pursuing ships.
There was a series of explosions that lit up Kintaur's sensors. From the light of the explosions came one lone pursuer. Suddenly there was a buzz on the control panel's communication sensor.
"Kintaur Rosenbaum here," Kintaur said. "I'm the captain of this vessel."
"I have alerted Lord Calcitron of your position! He will be sending one of his motherships in! I suggest you surrender now while you still have a chance to be taken alive."
Kintaur cursed between gritted teeth. He lifted his thumb from the communication cone. "Alright," he said, depressing the switch once again with his thumb. "I'm cutting my engines. I will go peacefully."
"Excellent," the alien captain buzzed. "Lord Calcitron may show you mercy yet!"
As the boomerang-shaped alien ship slowed down behind Kintaur's ship, suddenly The Magnetar spun around and two round portholes shot open revealing a pair of pluon torpedoes aimed directly at the enemy ship.
"What!" Came the terrified alien voice over Kintaur's commincator.
"Tell Lord Calcitron that Kintaur Rosenbaum doesn't bargain with insect scum!" Kintaur nodded and Stormbot pushed the button to launch the torpedoes. The alien ship erupted into a ball of flame that melted away into blackness just as fast.
"Great shot, Stormbot!" Kintaur pumped his fist in triumph. "Let's set a course for the Duplin system. I think there'll be a swarm of bugs here any minute!"
Will the bugs find Kintaur again? Will Kintaur escape the bugs again? If the bugs find Kintaur and Stormbot again will Kintaur address them in a condescending manner? Find the answers to all of this in the next exciting chapter of Space Phalanx: The Human-Zzintar Wars!
Stormbot flashed his eye-sensors in agreement. "These insectazoids need to buzz off," he delivered in his robotic monotone.
Kintaur's ship, The Magnetar blasted ahead, six or seven smaller ships matching speed and lighting the space behind them with their thrusters.
"Alright, Stormbot. Time to squash some bugs!"
The Magnetar arced upward, twisting as it did so, and dropped a dozen space mines behind it into the narrowing gap to the pursuing ships.
There was a series of explosions that lit up Kintaur's sensors. From the light of the explosions came one lone pursuer. Suddenly there was a buzz on the control panel's communication sensor.
"Kintaur Rosenbaum here," Kintaur said. "I'm the captain of this vessel."
"I have alerted Lord Calcitron of your position! He will be sending one of his motherships in! I suggest you surrender now while you still have a chance to be taken alive."
Kintaur cursed between gritted teeth. He lifted his thumb from the communication cone. "Alright," he said, depressing the switch once again with his thumb. "I'm cutting my engines. I will go peacefully."
"Excellent," the alien captain buzzed. "Lord Calcitron may show you mercy yet!"
As the boomerang-shaped alien ship slowed down behind Kintaur's ship, suddenly The Magnetar spun around and two round portholes shot open revealing a pair of pluon torpedoes aimed directly at the enemy ship.
"What!" Came the terrified alien voice over Kintaur's commincator.
"Tell Lord Calcitron that Kintaur Rosenbaum doesn't bargain with insect scum!" Kintaur nodded and Stormbot pushed the button to launch the torpedoes. The alien ship erupted into a ball of flame that melted away into blackness just as fast.
"Great shot, Stormbot!" Kintaur pumped his fist in triumph. "Let's set a course for the Duplin system. I think there'll be a swarm of bugs here any minute!"
Will the bugs find Kintaur again? Will Kintaur escape the bugs again? If the bugs find Kintaur and Stormbot again will Kintaur address them in a condescending manner? Find the answers to all of this in the next exciting chapter of Space Phalanx: The Human-Zzintar Wars!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
In The Lair of Lord Calcitron
When we last left our hero we had just learned his name, so he was still pretty new to us. Also, he hadn't really done anything yet that would identify him as a hero. So we'd better get around to that.
Calcitron, the evil ruler of the insectazoid Mentarillians, stroked his mandibles thoughtfully. "Zahr'ring'ih! Come to my throne and inform me of the goings on in the Trellingi Galaxy!"
An insectazoid toady gamboled horizontally over to High Lord Calcitron's throne which was made out of the skulls of people he'd conquered! "Yes, Lord Calcitron?" He bowed, then rubbed at one of his many segmented eyes.
"We have an enemy in the human resistance. His name is Kintaur Rosenbaum! We must find him and teach him that the Mentarillians are insectazoids that are not to be trifled with."
"Yes, master," Zahr'ring'ih said, rubbing two of his antennae together in a conniving manner. "Rosenbaum will feel the true rath of the Mentarillias and this Human-Zzintar Wars will tilt into our favor!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" They both said.
Tune in soon for the next exciting chapter of Space Phalanx: The Human-Zzintar Wars!
Calcitron, the evil ruler of the insectazoid Mentarillians, stroked his mandibles thoughtfully. "Zahr'ring'ih! Come to my throne and inform me of the goings on in the Trellingi Galaxy!"
An insectazoid toady gamboled horizontally over to High Lord Calcitron's throne which was made out of the skulls of people he'd conquered! "Yes, Lord Calcitron?" He bowed, then rubbed at one of his many segmented eyes.
"We have an enemy in the human resistance. His name is Kintaur Rosenbaum! We must find him and teach him that the Mentarillians are insectazoids that are not to be trifled with."
"Yes, master," Zahr'ring'ih said, rubbing two of his antennae together in a conniving manner. "Rosenbaum will feel the true rath of the Mentarillias and this Human-Zzintar Wars will tilt into our favor!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!" They both said.
Tune in soon for the next exciting chapter of Space Phalanx: The Human-Zzintar Wars!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
The Beginning
Originally posted Thursday, January 29, 2009: http://jenandnate.blogspot.com/2009/01/boring-salads-sci-fi-and-flatiron.html
It was the year 3519. Mankind's reach into the stars had grown to encompass the Milky Way and several adjoining galaxies. Baron Tzar-liki, the Kin-Taru warlord, had sent a massive amount of insectazoid combatants to meet the humans in fierce interstellar battle.
Space conflict, initiated by the evil Mentarillian insectazoids, ran rampant throughout the entire known universe. Many starships set off from the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies to fight against the evil insectazoids. Fewer than many returned back from battle (because they had been killed by the insectazoids).
It was said that a human would be born that could finally give the insectazoids a proper thumpin'. That man was named Kintaur Rosenbaum, and this is his story . . .
Stay tuned for more of Space Phalanx: The Human-Zzintar Wars, coming soon!
It was the year 3519. Mankind's reach into the stars had grown to encompass the Milky Way and several adjoining galaxies. Baron Tzar-liki, the Kin-Taru warlord, had sent a massive amount of insectazoid combatants to meet the humans in fierce interstellar battle.
Space conflict, initiated by the evil Mentarillian insectazoids, ran rampant throughout the entire known universe. Many starships set off from the Milky Way and Andromeda galaxies to fight against the evil insectazoids. Fewer than many returned back from battle (because they had been killed by the insectazoids).
It was said that a human would be born that could finally give the insectazoids a proper thumpin'. That man was named Kintaur Rosenbaum, and this is his story . . .
Stay tuned for more of Space Phalanx: The Human-Zzintar Wars, coming soon!
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